Domestic Violence -- public service announcement

[Ellsworth]

There is a video of Jesse Glover that I have watched more than once.

A video that I have thought deeply about, because I found one phrase disturbing.

The context is that Jesse majored in Psychology.
And when he studied the field, the field had not seriously begun to study domestic violence.
And had not recognized the most commonly uttered excuses, as an expression of disease.

Trigger warning regarding the link for those with PTSD, especially surrounding domestic violence and rape.

https://youtu.be/5rwLuF13OJk?t=43

It's the phrase, it's the blame, it's the shifting of fault between two agents.
And for a person above a certain age, it's not the same loaded phrase of today's age.

So, consider my words not as judgment about/towards Jesse, but rather consider my words as pointing out a potential multi-layered lesson.

What's fair in a fight, isn't fair in a fight.

The easiest way to a (typically temporary) false feeling of total absolution is to simply self assess all fault upon the other.

That way, is seldom a solution.
That way seldom leads to positive mental growth or a positive experience.
That way generally sinks relationships.
__________________________________________________ _________________________

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, then there are resources (both national and local) to help you find a safe path to a new future.
May you have the strength and courage to take a new path.
People care. People will help.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org/

Contact options:

PO Box 90249
Austin, Texas 78709

1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)
Or text "Start" to 88788

Chat support available on their website.

Here is a reprint of their website notice:

"Security Alert

Internet usage can be monitored and is impossible to erase completely. If you’re concerned your internet usage might be monitored, call us at 800.799.SAFE (7233). Learn more about digital security and remember to clear your browser history after visiting this website."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domest..._United_States
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470337/
"According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in the United States 41% of women and 26% of men experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime, under 'contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking.'" And up to 1/3 of children are exposed to adult partner violence and "Approximately one in four children experience child abuse or neglect in their lifetime. Of maltreated children, 18 percent are abused physically, 78 percent are neglected, and 9 percent are abused sexually."

I would add that something else is worth considering, domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health issues, social isolation, eating disorders, along with basic power and financial imbalance, and a few other conditions... if one is present, then often other(s) is/are present.

And domestic abusers often have mental health conditions like borderline personality disorders, narcissism, obsessive control disorder, things that mean logical appeals and promises will statistically not work.

What does this have to do with log homes?

Log home building IS construction.
That makes all of us here, construction workers.
Domestic violence is statistically higher among construction workers...
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3217036/

In the personal relationships of construction workers "20% of the couples reported MFPV, and 24% reported FMPV."
(MFPV = male abusing female. FMPV - female abusing male)

Positive change and constructive action go hand in hand
This is intended to draw attention to an issue, not sit in judgement of any profession.

This is not a single gender issue. And as the construction statistics illustrate, in some cohorts females can more frequently be the offending party in a DV situation.
Perhaps a difference of 4% makes things fairly equal, in regards to which gender might offend.

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, then there are resources (both national and local) to help you find a safe path to a new future.

May you have the strength and courage to take a new path.
People care. People will help.

[Ellsworth]

This anti-domestic violence message/thread (public service announcement) was in part inspired by the recent tragedy that unfolded in Fall City WA.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...g-rampage.html

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/...d/75820202007/

https://www.wtvr.com/news/national-n...on-oct-25-2024

https://abc7chicago.com/post/fall-ci...home/15476917/

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle...-teen-suspect/

https://www.wltx.com/article/news/na...4-a9e12ddd9530

What actually happened was a tragedy. It involved a family, homeschooling, wealth, and community/communities. The father was an engineer and the mother was a nurse.

And it was a school shooting, if the articles I've read are correct. The children were home schooled, the shooting happened at the home-school. It could have happened in a public school, not a homeschool.

It also involved a a log home, not a butt and pass log home, and not built by the family that lived in it or by LHBA members.

I think of parallels of that family to the average LHBA student far more than I think of the differences.
And frankly, the demographics of the victims match exactly to some portion of LHBA members (wealth, career, family size, home schooling, et cetera).

That tragedy could have easily have taken place inside a butt and pass log home (finished or under construction). In fact several student built homes are in Fall City, it could have been in one of those. Or it could have easily been an event that took place on an isolated build site, far from any social resources.

I've taught somewhere between 7000 and 10,000 students.
My father taught between 30,000 to 50,000 students.

That's a lot of potential families marching off into the woods to do a high stress activity.
I'd rather state the concerns bluntly, to try and avoid others having potential calamities.

Rest in Peace, Sarah and Mark Humiston and their three deceased children.
May their two surviving children find some peace in their lives.

https://community.loghomebuilders.or...arting-a-build

Building a log home is an additional stressor on a family. Offering information to try and mitigate the elevated risks of mental health issue, abuse and divorce is now part of the curriculum.