Ellsworth

Happy Halloween

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Why are traffic cones so effective?

Because they look just like candy corn.

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  1. Ellsworth's Avatar
    What was Mr. T's famous quote?

    "I pity the fool, that eats candy corn."
  2. Ellsworth's Avatar
    How did they reduce the average score of soccer games down to zero.

    They taped a piece of candy corn to the top cross bar of each goal.
  3. Ellsworth's Avatar
    A landscaping company found the fastest way to huge profits.

    Place a piece of candy corn in each customer's yard. The grass will stop growing and the leaves will start falling into someone else's yard.
  4. Ellsworth's Avatar
    The levee broke but the town was saved.

    Someone had laid down a line of candy corn, the water wouldn't go near it.
  5. Ellsworth's Avatar
    The finally found an easy way to fix the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

    Place a piece of candy corn upon the ground to the south of the tower.
  6. Ellsworth's Avatar
    A maple syrup farm found a way to triple production.

    Place a piece of candy corn upon a branch of each maple tree and the sap wants to run right out at maximum speed.
  7. Ellsworth's Avatar
    What was the alternate ending to the movie Jaws?

    Instead of killing the shark with a scuba tank, they just tossed a piece of candy corn at it.
  8. Ellsworth's Avatar
    What is the only substance that makes Chuck Norris weak?

    Candy corn, it's worse than kryptonite.
  9. Ellsworth's Avatar
    Why did the kid not get any cavities due to eating all his Halloween candy.

    Every night before bed he ate a single piece of candy corn, it killed all the plaque germs.
  10. Ellsworth's Avatar
    There was a lesser known, less successful, non-award winning movie called 'The Dropout," where the protagonist was earnestly told, "Candy corn… there's a great future in candy corn. Think about it. Will you think about it?”
  11. Ellsworth's Avatar
    They used no make up for the TV show The Walking Dead.

    Instead each actor that portrayed a zombie just ate a single piece of candy corn 30 minutes before filming started.
  12. Ellsworth's Avatar
    If you drop a pound of candy corn and a pound of lead at the same time, which one hits the ground first?

    No one knows. Observers have always run away as soon as the words 'candy corn' were uttered.
  13. Ellsworth's Avatar
    What works better than an umbrella for keeping dry in the rain?

    Tape a piece candy corn to the top of your hat. All the rain will fall sideways, away from you to avoid it.
  14. Ellsworth's Avatar
    They discovered the source of the food poisoning outbreak.

    It was the candy corn store.
  15. Ellsworth's Avatar
    If you think that candy corn is the only solution,

    Then the problem must be so bad that I don't want to hear about it.
  16. Ellsworth's Avatar
    What's the easiest way to save your seat at a movie theater or sports stadium?

    Place a piece of candy corn on it.
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