Learning to live in the great outdoors...

[paul260426]

Learning To Live Away From The City When The City Is All You Every Have Known. Yes, I think that is what I am interested in discussing. My wife has always lived in the city. She thinks country life in a cabin would be lonely and she says she would feel unsafe. And, yea I understand her. I suppose you adapt to it and find friends in the area...I hope. As far as safety, it is probably safer than the city. Get a couple guns and a couple of big dogs.

What scares me is if I were away from the home and along comes a couple guys that walk in on her, rape her and kill her. That could happen anywhere I know...but in civilization you have other people around. Out in the wild west you are alone.

What do you folks think. Paranoid?

[GammaRae]

What scares me is if I were away from the home and along comes a couple guys that walk in on her, rape her and kill her.

Sounds to me like you've been in the city too long.

[rreidnauer]

I agree with GammRae, it seems to be a persona folks get from living in the city, as without a doubt, there are the highest concentrations of crime. Personally, spoken by someone who never lived in the city, I don't feel safe even visiting cities. Just watching the Philadelphia evening news is enough to keep me out of there.

I'd venture to guess that crime can be measured closely to a ratio of 'persons per crime', so when you have less people per square mile, you have less crime per square mile, and crime is roughly equal across the board using this ratio.

In reality though, I suspect it's just a human trait to fear the "other" way of life, regardless if it's country to city, or the opposite.

[GammaRae]

In all fairness, I live in the 'burbs, just moved out of downtown Seattle 9-months ago and grew up in the 'burbs. BUT I have family in towns where they are the only town in the county and visit them quite a bit, as evidence by my avatar. However, we are putting a bid in on a piece of land in a place that is close (easily within commuting distance) to the city, but seems like it is hours from the city, up on a hill 10-acre parcel. They are out there and you should be able to make a happy compromise for both of you.

Of course, I have it a bit easier - I married an Eskimo. She's kind of used to the boonies.

[Matt F.]

I've always been a "country" boy mself, and could never live in the city. The town I grew up in was small (about 3000 people) and there were only 36 people in my highschool graduating class.

I won't pretend that there was never any crime, but I can only remember 2 incidents that hardcore crime (rape, murder, etc) in 20 years. And when they did happen, everone in the town found out about it. Small towns, like it or not, are like big families. Everyone knows eachother, somewhat. And everyone knows when a stranger is around. Once you live there long enough to stop being the stranger yourself, then people will look out for you.

Also, keep in mind that if anyone did want to break in, they would be from the same area. And it's easy to scare away us "country" folk. You don't need a gun, maybe one dog. Or even just a sensor light. If someone is lurking around, and a light comes on, they'll leave. A single light sines bright where there was only moonlight before.

[ChainsawGrandpa]

I was a country boy. Grew up playing in the river, along the ditch
and travelling w/o a gun was unthinkable. Not for safety so much
as for work. We made our own entertainment. Making a raft, then
floating it down the ditch to the river. Now THAT"S living! Snorkeling. Warming ourselves on rocks next to the river and just talking. Finding some innertubes and then walking up the road with them to go nnertubing down the river. Watch Amy Grant go down the river in a $125/person raft ride, and yelling; "Suckers!" Hurd a fish into progressivly shallower water and then taking it home for dinner.
Lying beneath the stars with our sleeping bags in the cool grass while
others are in a hot house or breathing artificial air from the air
conditioner.

It might be boring at first when you try to make city lifestyles fit into country living. Just slow-down. You don't need to hop in the SUV to get to something! Stop being in a panic over where you have to go next!

How could anyone be bored in the country!?
To me there is so much more to do in the country.. City life is boring.


Country city

go fishing watch t.v.
go hunting from the front porch listen to neighbors fight
listen to the quiet lock doors
target practice/rifle watch cops get neighbors
target practice/bow read about neighbors in paper
work on hobbies wonder who stole your hobby tools
relax in the quiet get up at 5AM to commute in rain
on the deck playing guitar in pawn shops looking for your stolen guitar
time w/ kids in front of fire time w/ kids in front of judge
kids out playing & having fun soccer practice
cross country skiing working saturdays to pay for ski eqpt.
gardening grocery shopping


Hey, I don't mean to make city life sound all that bad but I grew up in
the country and have spent the last 24+ years living and working in
the city. As a Firefighter, I'm up at 2AM seeing the worst "civilization"
has to offer. The city is boring and maddening...like more and more
rats in a cage. The country is refreshing!

There is more to life than trying to be the first one to finish!

-Rick


Ok, Amy Grant went by when I was older, but anyone who pays $125 to ride in a raft when they could have a fun time on an innertube is an idiot!

[ChainsawGrandpa]

Hmmm. Part of the last post didn't come out correctly.
If it doesn't come out right this time, then look at country/
city as column header and the rest in two columns.


Country // city

go fishing. watch t.v.
go hunting from the front porch. listen to neighbors fight
listen to the quiet. lock doors
target practice/rifle. watch cops get neighbors
target practice/bow. read about neighbors in paper
work on hobbies. wonder who stole your hobby tools
relax in the quiet. get up at 5AM to commute in rain
on the deck playing guitar. in pawn shops looking for your stolen guitar
time w/ kids in front of fire. time w/ kids in front of judge
kids out playing & having fun. soccer practice
cross country skiing. working saturdays to pay for ski eqpt.
gardening. grocery shopping

[JeffandSara]

Hi, Paul--

I think that, country or city raised, if we're honest, we can all see that some people can readapt to the country (or to the city) and others just can't. It's a wise question to ask yourselves, in my opinion.

I've done both, personally... from no electricity or running water style country, to right downtown city. Myself, I find the country more interesting, more relaxing, safer, more appealling, more private, less stressful, and frankly just more edifying. Thankfully, my husband and our two kids agree, so everyone's happy. :D

But it's not for everyone (and frankly where we built our log home isn't all THAT "remote"!) I had a wife of one of they guys who delivered something here say to me, standing in our front yard... "It's spooky, it's so quiet... and where's the WalMart." I didn't laugh at her, because I have lived in the past near where she was born and raised. To HER I'm not surprised it seems isolated and lonely. It IS compared with what she's used to. We're still in "commuting distance" to the big city, as GammaRae described... but you have to be realistic about how much time you can/will end up spending driving in and out if the country doesn't "suit you right down to the ground."

While I agree with Rick about the highly preferable "activities" in the boonies ... absolutely! ... those are activities WE enjoy. Not everyone does. So you and your wife need to think seriously about how often you are going to want to eat out, how often you're going to want to go shopping for books/clothes/sporting equipment/music/whatever, how often you're going to want to go out on the town/to the movies, how picky you are about your grocery selection, how close you want/need doctors and dentists... lots of day-to-day issues that often make or break it for people when they change lifestyle drastically.

We go to the movies about once every 18 months, out to dinner (same restaurant usually, 100 miles from here) twice a year, shop a lot through catalogs, head to the big city for pantry/freezer supplies once or twice a month. Works fine for me, but doesn't work for everyone. We actually made a very long and detailed list of everything we could think of that we'd "lose" by moving here... sat down with our grammar-school aged kids and listed it all. When we got done, and looked at the list, there were almost no items we thought were worth staying in the suburbs for. You'll have to see how your "list" comes out. :wink:

And as for being raped and murdered... I agree with the guys... I think it's much LESS likely to happen to me here than anywhere I've lived in the city or the suburbs. Also, what few neighbors you tend to have often look out for you more closely in the country than in the city. In the city, many folks are looking the other way or closing their windows so they can't hear when someone's in trouble.

Good luck in your decisions ahead.
Sara :D

[GammaRae]

100 miles to eat out? Dang, that's not what I was talking about when saying "within commuting distance."

I'll just be straight up and tell you all the piece we are bidding on is about 15 minutes from Skip's place. It's not where we were originally looking, but these 10-acres came up and are absolutely gorgeous... and cheap for these parts. So there are a few towns close, the commute will be under 1-hour and the restaurants are 6 miles or less, away. It's just so high up you wouldn't know you were anywhere near town.

That's what I'm talking about regarding an easy compromise. Still, Sara is spot on when you have to determine what you are willing to give up for some peace and quiet. We'll be adding 30 minutes to our commute and will have to coordinate and plan church and shopping trips better, but not NEARLY as much as it sounds Sara and Jeff do. Yikes!

[ChainsawGrandpa]

Right now I live in Wenatchee..not the edge of the world but
you can see it from here. Actually, Seattlites and Californiaxxxxxx
(unkind slang for Californians) have moved in. The property
values are sky high, and now everyone wants to be seen at
Nordstroms and act trendy with a Starbucks in their hand.
(We call 'em Starbuckeroos) Can't wait to get out of here!!

There are five decent restaurants here. If we want something
different we go to Thirteen Coins down by the airport...Seatac!
About 140 mile drive for dinner. Of course if we don't feel like
driving we just go to Lombardi's in Issaquah or the Clay Oven
(THANKS STEVE!) in Monroe. That's only 110 miles each way. :wink:
When we do complete our move we will be able to get out and
go to a great Bar-b-que place...about 35 feet out the back door.
Our home will be a destination, and everything we do will be an
event. It's all just a mindset, and deciding to have fun, have joy,
be happy, and to be content. Hey, when you get beyond food,
clothes, water, and shelter, the rest is just filler.

I never did like to drive but I'm learning to make it part of the
experience. Of course, I can drive. My car and truck are both
diesel and a guy up the road makes biodiesel. Driving isn't too
costly for us, and the price is about to drop even farther.

My main hobby is staying home and I'm really looking forward to it.

One more city vs. country....

City: Guy is eyeing your wife
Country: Guy is eyeing your tractor...Really!

-Rick

[JeffandSara]

Hi, Gamma.

Hope all's well with you and good luck with the property.

Actually, we're not a LOT farther out than you. The favorite restaurant is not the NEAREST restaurant. My point, I guess, was that when we REALLY want good food, it's worth it to go a ways... and we don't feel the need to go every night, thankfully.

We have fast food and a couple of decent restaurants 15 minutes away. We're also blessed with a REALLY good pizzaria about 8 minutes away. Local market is 6 miles (independent, no chain stores here), and the schools are 15 miles away.

Jeff's commute is similar to yours, and since he works way down in the middle of the city, he does do some of the shopping when he's already down there... Home Depot and things like that.

Since I know what we need for the household, groceries, sundries, I usually do all that in one or two trips a month. It's a little less than a half-day trip, if I shop efficiently, an hour and a half of driving round-trip. Not too bad.

The biggest pain on the horizon is going to be orthodontics for the kids... 45 minutes away. I'm NOT looking forward to that. But our dentist and a couple good doctors are 15 minutes in either direction from home, so that's not too bad.

We know people in this area, however, who go "down the hill" to shop every other day, even if they work up here (or don't work). We know folks who can't find anything fun to do here, so they're constantly ferrying their kids down to the same 45 miles to the laser tag and the movie theaters and the malls. Even when gas prices weren't so high, that's a lot of miles to put on... and not a lot of time to enjoy the restful pace and beauty of the country you supposedly moved here for.

Frankly, the average length of time people stay who don't "make it" up here is two years. The first winter feels like fun, but eventually, if you're not suited to it, snow shovelling and icy roads and limited grocery choices and slow-moving traffic going up the highway hills and lack of organized entertainment, etc., doesn't seem to romantic anymore. Anyone prone to "cabin fever" needs to carefully consider how they'll cope. Personally, if I NEVER had to leave my "cabin" and land, I'd be fine with that... but I know I'm an odd duck.

And by the way. In case you wondered what was on the list of things we'd actually really be sorry to "lose" when we left the suburbs? The only thing I REALLY miss is good quality Hunan/Szechuan take-out.

:D

Sara :D

[JeffandSara]

Rick said...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One more city vs. country....

City: Guy is eyeing your wife
Country: Guy is eyeing your tractor...Really!
~~~~~~~~~~~~


Unless of course your wife LIKES tractors, too. Then he might be REALLY jealous and eye them both :wink:

Sara :lol:

[ChainsawGrandpa]

Could you imagine your wife calling the dog, who comes and jumps
on the tractor with her and they ride off into the sunset never to be
seen again? That tractor is $6,000! :wink:

-Rick

[GammaRae]

Actually, we're not a LOT farther out than you. The favorite restaurant is not the NEAREST restaurant.

Pheeeewwwww. I was having dizzy spells just thinking about it.

[paul260426]

Thanks for all the feedback. I did think the questions were very valid and something everyone needs to give serious thought to. I like the idea of compromising according to the type person you are. Some people are happiest living in the middle of New York City....some are happiest in the suburbs, some 15 miles from a small town, some 200 miles from the same small town.

I think I am somewhere in the 30 minutes from average size town category. My wife is probably 15 minutes from average size town category. So obviously, we shouldnt be looking for anything out in the middle of nowhere.

Now the kicker. I currently live in the Dominican Republic on a beach. I have traveled the world extensively. I have to return to USA for legal reasons...I will let you speculate on that one. Here in the D.R. one can find a nice piece of property for about $20K. Problem is you have to pay for it in cash or finance for about 20%. One day we will return here and put down cash for a nice place. Then we will fly here in the USA winter and return in the spring. That is the dream.

Thanks again all.