Am I crazy to put my dream on hold? New member,Hood River OR

[Dan Reynolds]

Hi, my name is Dan Reynolds and I live in Hood River OR. on the Columbia River Gorge. Any one near by? I took the class a few years back but I'm in the middle of the nursing program at CGCC and so my log home dreams are on hold for now. Truth be told I am in school to be a nurse because it is a 'good steady respectable job and getting my degree is the responsible thing to do' so my wife tells me, but my real dream is to build log homes and cabins, one unique project at a time. I have had that dream in one form or other since I was a kid and I have let parents and spouces and my own lack of focus and belief talk me out of it. Skip's class was so empowering to me because I could really see that I can do this thing but I am finacially and emotionally obligated to my wife and the bank to finish school and play finacial catch up. Am I crazy to be in school for something I don't even want to do just to make enough extra money to pay back school loans and credit cards so I can then save up to build my first log home and start a new career doing something that I am sure I will love but that my wife doesn't believe in or even like?

[pdthct]

I think that I have a very marketable skill and a respectable line of work. Went to school, racked up a substantial debt to service my education, because of that debt, went into the military for 10 years. By the time my 10 year service was done, I owed only a few thousand in education loans and the balance of one mortgage. Here was where I had my window of opportunity and also where I "put my dreams on hold" as you put it. After getting out of the military, I decided to do the "responsible" thing and started my own undertaking. I hired 5 employees, had an office build to suit with a 5 year lease and a 7 year lease on equipment.

So what does that do for being able to free myself for a major undertaking like building my own place? Doing the "responsible and respectable" thing for me has made me beholden to my landlord and to my banks. Indentured servitude. Whose dream am I living now?

Sounds like you need to have a good heart to heart with the spousal unit. I only talked to mine afterwards. She asked me, "So why didn't you just go for it?"

[hawkiye]

You always have to take your spouses feeling into consideration. But it doesn't mean you always have to do what they want you too. You'll always regret not going after your dream.

Sometimes you just have to go for it and tell them; this is what I am going to do with or without you. You'll never regret living your dreams!

Blayne

[kodakjs]

Hey Dan:

I think that finishing your nursing would be a good idea. Nursing is an excellent source of income for a small amount of time invested. I am a nurse, I work 3 days per week, I earn about 100K.

I am planning to start building this summer or fall. I will have 3 or 4 days per week to work on my houses. When I have built a few of them, I will stop nursing but I will always keep my license.

I have been a business man in the past. Made several million dollars and lost it. SO I am really happy that I had a career to fall back on. Just some food for thought.

It sounds like you are young, you have time to do both of these things.

Best regards,

John

[freeloader]

Getting to your goal is what is important. The next step is to have a realistic plan on how to get to that goal. Formulate a plan, then talk to the wife about it :wink:

[annie]

Noticed all the responses so far were from men... :D

I was in the same boat for a long time. Did what everyone else expected me to and like another poster, went into the military for a few years because it was the "responsible" thing to do. Learned to conform to everyone elses wishes (I'm rather opinionated and headstrong). But I still wasn't me and I still wasn't happy.

Finally I started learning all I could about what *I* was interested in and what I wanted to do and made some major life changes, including going through a divorce and a remarriage. Fortunately for myself, I came to these realizations when I was only 26.

But here's the point, Dan... YOU are the only one who can truly decide whether or not putting your dreams on hold is crazy. YOU are the only one who can decide what's right for you. Everybody and their brother can you give advice and insights about their own life, but YOU are the one who has to live by your choices.

I'm 32 now and even though I'm not all the way to where I want to be (had a lot of stuff to fix) I am on the way there. And I'm happy doing it even though we struggle with paying the bills month to month. I *know* I'll get there and that keeps me going and makes all of the present worth it. I also know I wouldn't feel this way if I hadn't decided to just go for it.

So, you've got to decide what you can and can't live with and how you can get where you want to go. Find out what is so frightening to your wife about living your dreams. Remember that people are often afraid of what they don't understand. And people are often afraid of change. Perhaps if you can help her see what it would be like once you're there, she'll come around.

Sometimes people are so frightened about the future, they can't see passed the immediate so they stay tucked into their box and never venture out. Maybe you can help her change that by believing in yourself and believing in your dreams.

Good luck to you! Hope this helps,

[log furniture builder]

Dan,
You have started a very good career, making it through so far shows you have some good intellectual skills. I believe you should complete what you started so you have a back up career and a quick way to start paying off school loans.
I would also start talking to my wife and letting her know that my desire is to build log homes, as you complete your schooling you can start collecting all of the items the class says you need. This will allow your wife to see you working slowly towards your real dream and give you the piece of mind to finish the school and still be a part of your desire; I would imagine in the time it takes to complete school you could find some great deals on the products you will need in the future.
My last piece of advise is to never give up on your dream, people will always tell you what they think but your the only person who knows your heart and true desire. I held MANY jobs but only wanted to be a pilot, all of my friends and family said "you have to be a prior military pilot to get a job flying", so I wasted six years thinking I could never have my dream. One day my neighbor (who loved planes) come over and we visited, he asked me why I was affraid to be a pilot. I thought about that the rest of the day and the next day I decided I was going to school even though I needed $15,000 to complete training and I only had $4,000. I found the best priced school bought a plane ticket packed one bag, alarm clock, and bike then flew from Sacramento, Ca to Oklahoma City (two days after the OKC bombing) and started school. I went to school for about 10 hours a day and then worked odd jobs during my off time to pay for rent and school. I'm now a training captain flying for a world wide corporation, I evaluate all of our pilots civilian and military.
It's funny, the rich people I fly say one thing over and over "the difference between me and the average joe is that I'm willing to take an educated risk for the benefit of the future, most people are to affraid to go with their educated feelings and RISK". DON'T EVER LOSE SIGHT OF YOUR DREAM, KEEP A LOG CABIN PICTURE AS YOUR BOOK MARKER!!!

[NordicPrincess]

Hi Dan,
Welcome to the forum!
If you don't mind, I'll throw in my 2 cents worth, if it's worth even that! :D
I have been a nurse for 31 years. I started school when I was 18 because it was what my parents wanted me to do and would pay for. As my Mom said, "You don't need a degree to pin diapers". (Boy, is that statement showing my age!) :shock: They felt that it was a good, solid, respectable job for a girl who would be getting married in a few years, have children and not really have to worry about a career since her husband would be taking care of her.
To make a very long story short, I never got married, never had children, racked up a huge amount of credit card debt over the years, I believe because it was my way of making myself feel better for being in a career that has drained me emotionally, physically, even spiritually.
You work hours totally opposite of the rest of the world. You don't have holidays free, weekends free; family and friends make plans & you have to decline the invitations because you are "working". It makes me feel sad to think of all of the things I've missed over the years because of my job. Especially being there for my nieces & nephews as they were growing up.
Of course no one forced me into staying in this career for so long, but I think we all know how easy it is to dig a hole & spend a lifetime trying to find our way out of it.
At any rate, I have spent the last few years examining my life, getting my priorities straight, deciding on the path the rest of my life is going to take, and doing what I need to do to get where I need & want to be to be content & peaceful in this life. At the ripe young age of 49, I will be debt free by my 50th birthday and that is one huge accomplishment for me!! I am now focusing on saving my $$$ to attend the seminar, build my log home & start a safe haven for special needs children and animals on my land. A dream that has been close to my heart for many, many years.
I think my whole point in all this rambling is to encourage you to follow your heart. From reading your post, I have gotten the impression that you are in your 30's or so, and life is not waiting for any of us to waste time and do things that are "right" by others' standards.
I think with your ideas and passion and commitment, you could make a very nice income, doing what you love & in the process, help not only those who are themselves trying to get out of the rat race, but also contribute immeasureably to the emotional growth & stability of your marriage. When we follow our hearts, everyone around us benefits, especially our mates. When we are emotionally satisfied and complete within ourselves, we have an unending supply of love & gratefulness to give to those who share their lives with us.
I wish the best for you & yours.
Shanara