Need some advice...

[AndrewW]

Hi everyone- I just signed up for the class taking place on June 7th and 8th. I am planning on attending on my own - but I have seen a number of posts recommending that your spouse/significant other join if possible. While both my wife and I would prefer that she join me, we live in Chicago and also have two small children so we're leaning heavily towards me taking the class alone - for both financial and childcare reasons. My question is: How big of a detriment is it going to be if my wife isn't with me? Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.

Thanks!

Andrew

[Basil]

I attended, my wife didn't. As a result, we're not always on the same page. She also has some unrealistic expectations about how long it takes to complete a project like this, she has a tendency to choose complicated solutions to simple problems, and spends too much money on things we don't need at times we don't need them. It certainly CAN be done if your wife doesn't attend, but it WILL lead to additional stresses in the building process. I'm on the verge of moving into my log house now and I can tell you, I WISH SHE HAD GONE TO THE CLASS!!

So, I think the real answer is that both of you attending the class is more of a suggestion for a happy marriage than it is for a successful building project...

[Yuhjn]

I know this doesnt help with the financial aspect, but you can also have your wife attend a later class.

I'm going to be in the memorial day class later this month but my wife cant make it because she cant get the time off work. But we're planning to have her attend a class later this year by herself. It costs a couple hundred bucks extra, but you'll probably end up saving that 10 times over by being on the same page with her.

[Shark]

I attended, my wife didn't. As a result, we're not always on the same page. She also has some unrealistic expectations about how long it takes to complete a project like this, she has a tendency to choose complicated solutions to simple problems, and spends too much money on things we don't need at times we don't need them. It certainly CAN be done if your wife doesn't attend, but it WILL lead to additional stresses in the building process. I'm on the verge of moving into my log house now and I can tell you, I WISH SHE HAD GONE TO THE CLASS!!

So, I think the real answer is that both of you attending the class is more of a suggestion for a happy marriage than it is for a successful building project...

Basil had a great explanation.

Basically the same for us, my wife (at the time, fiance') didn't come along, but I wish she had. She would have a better understanding of some of the things before-hand. Things have went fairly well so far, but there definitely has to be a lot of trust between the two, since only 1 person took the class.

Either way though, it's a great experience all around.

[hemlock77]

I took the class alone. There has been times when I wish my wife had taken the class. Not too difficult just a lot of explanations that wouldn't be necessary if she had taken class. I think she is happy being finantial manager and design assistant though.
Stu
http://s165.photobucket.com/albums/u64/hemlock77/

[Larry the Canadian]

Pros and Cons regarding bringing wife to class

Pros
1. Understands home design issues like wet wall, four corners, etc.
2. Second set of notes in case you miss something.
3. She catches the log home building bug.
4. Is able to join you for the member BBQ?s.
5. She isn?t at the mall spending all our money.
Cons
1. Tuition is more money but at least she isn?t at the mall.
2. Who will take care of the kids?
3. Avoid comparisons like, ?Hey, Pinecone Pam can get all her logs up in 11 days, why can?t you??

[Larry the Canadian]

Pros and Cons regarding bringing your husband to class


Pros
1. He will better understand home design issues like turning garage into hair salon, the value of a Wolfe stove and Sub zero fridge.
2. He can carry your purse up the hill.
3. He can protect you from Fang.
4. He may learn to cook properly at the member BBQ?s.

Cons
1. Tuition is more money. Oh well, he can work some more overtime.
2. He may become addicted to Skip?s homemade cookies.
3. He may start surfing the net late at night addicted to the forums.
4. If Pinecone Pam can build a home by herself, he may expect you to.

[Vern Street]

From the wife's perspective... I wasn't quite sure why I needed to go, but just enjoy traveling with hubby! Really thought maybe I'd just relax and read a good book or whatever? We debated about the financial issues (fortunately, our kids are grown, so that wasn't an issue!) and finally decided to bite the bullet. I am SO glad that I went to the class! (And, I didn't read a good book during class!) I agree with all the above - if I had not been there, Vern would spend much more time explaining "why" he was doing this or that, and many times I have something in my notes that he didn't, or maybe just remember it different so we look it up! It made it much more of a team effort and has been an experience that I wouldn't trade for a million dollars! We have worked together on every step of the process, from traveling to buy logs, to peeling bark, to the actual lifting and building process. Of course, there are things that I can't do physically, but I can always bring a glass of iced tea and cheer him on!

You are the only ones who can decide if there is any way to make it happen, and the childcare issue can be a big hurdle. If you have any options at all with that, I encourage you to find a way! Besides, everyone needs a second honeymoon!

Good luck!
Sara Street

PS We didn't do it in a few days either, but hope to be moved in by fall! Check out our progress at www.vernstreet.com

[GENE13]

My wife couldn't go with me either, job thing. I was hoping she could cause it seems as though she picks up on what I miss and vice versa, and together we have a better understanding "two heads better than one" whenever we take anything on. Also, someone added that when your spouse goes, they too get the fever, that to me is a biggie, I'd love to have her hyped too. I must say though I do have her support and that means a lot too. So if you can work it out, it's best for the two of you to go, and have a great time!!!

Gene

[ChainsawGrandpa]

My wife didn't go. Big mistake.
After I had the class she said;
"Great let's remodel this one first, then build the
log home on the new property you just bought."

So, the "new lot" was sold several years ago, the remodel
still isn't finished (are they ever?) and I'm building a stick-
framed storage shed on the newest property where the log
home will be built. Wasted 15 years. Should have built a
log home right after the class.

When I took the class a couple brought their baby who was
only a few months old. He started crying during the class.
Skip looked down at him making a rukus, and said; "Great,
start 'em young. I've had everyone from grandma's to young
kids take the class. He's getting a head start on life. Not a
problem." Personally I could have cared less if the baby was
crying. Mom and dad were only able to be there by bringing
the baby and I was wishing my wife would have come with me.
Didn't bother Skip, or anyone else in the class. However, if your
kids are older and need to be entertained...well, that may be
more difficult. No matter what, it's best if you both can go.

Since my wife didn't go, she had other ideas. Now I'm sitting
here without a log home. Somehow, get her there! You will
be much happier down the road. Instead of dragging behind
you on your log home dream she may be kicking you in the be-
hind to get going on this project.

Might also be too expensive to go alone. If she's not with you
on this....
Well, you may have spent a lot of money for a fun and interesting
weekend, and got some nice information that will never be used.
If you spend the extra money for her to go then you may get a
bargain. A lot of useful information that can be put to use right away.

-Rick

[pietru]

My wife didn't go and I think the principles are simple enough that I can explain everything. You can get many tools with 1500$... another point of view..

[Vern Street]

Think about this... (again this is Mrs. Vern speaking, but I think he would agree!)

The principles of making love are pretty simple and can readily be "explained", but wouldn't you rather share the experience and learn together!

It's not all about the destination, you need to enjoy the journey!

Just my two cents worth...

[lisaandmark]

I didn't go. We had a similar situation to yours, I had toddler twins at home and we were on a tight budget. I had actually found Skip's class through a homesteading message board and had to talk Mark into taking the class! Ha! He'll never tell you that. He was mighty skeptical before he went but by the first night he called he was so excited I couldn't get a word in edgewise. I always had 100% confidence that Mark could build our house; I never questioned his ability. I don't think I would have been much help if I had been at the class, but I was wise enough to just let him just build the house when he got started, and if my unsolicited opinions were getting on his nerves, I backed off and kept my opinions to myself. I only have one or two things I can say "I told you so" about, and I make sure I only say them to myself. ;-)

So, short answer, if your wife is the type to have enough confidence in you while you are building that she will leave you alone and let you do your thing, then I don't think it is a big deal of she doesn't go.

I did feel included by adding to the color scheme and cabinet layouts and decorating and stuff and all that kept me busy. And Mark did ask my opinion quite a bit on floorplan and room placement, etc. and asked me to write down a list of my "must haves" (like laundry in the master bedroom, etc.) All that made it feel like a team effort even though I didn't attend.