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Thread: Joke thread (Don't read if you don't like funny)

  1. #441
    LHBA Member Kola's Avatar
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    Yeah, ever since I rented the movie "V for Vendetta" there are guys in blacks suits sneaking around here. Bastages !

    And Yeah, I finally found a gal crazy enough to like me. People say we are kinda like Chip and Joanna Gaines. She's pretty and smart and I'm just a crazy fearless fool who can make stuff. Since I haven't had TV in over 20 years (never heard of their show), we watched the old episodes. I also read their book (OK, my ladyfriend read it to me), but it's quite good and they seem like good people and a good match. Two opposites.

    I'm 60 this month, two more years and I'm gonna take back the money they stole for me (called Social Security) Maybe it's time to settle down and have some kids... lol. seriously. Might even adopt.

    I be running my own home remodeling business and kicking butt. CO has a hot real estate market and newcomers from Cali and Texas have cash in hand. Yo.

    "I was in my car driving back from work. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I said, Yo bro,'One minute I'm on the phone.'" Face ? priceless.
    Last edited by Kola; 05-28-2018 at 06:39 AM.

  2. #442
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    My Brother is a Cop.... seems normal for me to be on the phone when He wants to chat.
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

    I love the mask mandate. I hardly ever have to bruh my teeth anymore.

  3. #443
    LHBA Member Kola's Avatar
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    LHN, every cop I see nowadays is on their phones ! while working ! Thats ok though, lol.


    Police Officer: "How high are you?"
    Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
    Last edited by Kola; 05-28-2018 at 06:30 PM.

  4. #444
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    I had an old stoner friend that got fired for this... Customer: "Are you high?" Him: "Did you just say 'Do you want to get high?'??"

    He was higher than giraffe reproductive parts.
    Last edited by allen84; 05-28-2018 at 08:31 PM.

  5. #445
    “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  6. #446
    LHBA Member mudflap's Avatar
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    Black Friday Deals at Hazard Fraught Tools. Chainsaw is the best.
    --
    "cutting trees is more important than thinking about cutting trees or planning to cut trees." ~ F. David Stanley

    videos: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/mudflap/
    polished blog: https://loghomejourney.wordpress.com
    not-so-polished-but-updated-frequently blog: https://mudbox.freedombox.rocks/ikiw...fromtheMudbox/
    diaspora: https://diaspora.psyco.fr/people/613...39001e67d879df

  7. #447
    LHBA Member rreidnauer's Avatar
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    Be great if somehow, that got slipped into their flyers.

    Sent from my SM-G955U1 using Tapatalk
    All my bad forum habits I learned from LHN

    Rod Reidnauer
    Class of Apr. 9-10, 2005
    Thinking outside the vinyl sided box

  8. #448
    ha ha ha!!!

  9. #449
    LHBA Member mudflap's Avatar
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    I'm actually wondering if the manual chainsaw idea could be effective.....
    --
    "cutting trees is more important than thinking about cutting trees or planning to cut trees." ~ F. David Stanley

    videos: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/mudflap/
    polished blog: https://loghomejourney.wordpress.com
    not-so-polished-but-updated-frequently blog: https://mudbox.freedombox.rocks/ikiw...fromtheMudbox/
    diaspora: https://diaspora.psyco.fr/people/613...39001e67d879df

  10. #450
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    To all you poor souls who have no access to the "Members Only" side of this forum, I'd like to wish you a Merry Christmas. I think I'll wish all the rest of us a Merry Christmas also. That reminds me of a question that always sounded like a joke when my Dad used to ask it.

    Why do Polar Bears never eat Penguins?
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

    I love the mask mandate. I hardly ever have to bruh my teeth anymore.

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