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Thread: Joke thread (Don't read if you don't like funny)

  1. #361
    LHBA Member mudflap's Avatar
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    Fine. I'll try to make everyone happy:

    https://youtu.be/Z6MPbSwJ7Jg
    --
    "cutting trees is more important than thinking about cutting trees or planning to cut trees." ~ F. David Stanley

    videos: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/mudflap/
    polished blog: https://loghomejourney.wordpress.com
    not-so-polished-but-updated-frequently blog: https://mudbox.freedombox.rocks/ikiw...fromtheMudbox/
    diaspora: https://diaspora.psyco.fr/people/613...39001e67d879df

  2. #362
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

    I love the mask mandate. I hardly ever have to bruh my teeth anymore.

  3. #363
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

    I love the mask mandate. I hardly ever have to bruh my teeth anymore.

  4. #364
    LHBA Member
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    If Mudflap and his squeezebox don't at least make you smile, your life must be miserable.

  5. #365
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    One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, “My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
    “Listen, Bob, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Stan replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars… a lot cheaper than a doctor.”
    So, Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Walmart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Here is a doctor’s certificate for your employer.”
    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good measure.
    He then went back to Walmart, eager to test the computer. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits.
    In ten seconds the computer prints the following: “1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant – twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don’t stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.
    And, as always… Thank you for shopping at Walmart.”

  6. #366
    LHBA Member rreidnauer's Avatar
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    LOL! Careful what you [S]wish[/S] ask for.
    Last edited by rreidnauer; 01-04-2017 at 07:39 AM.
    All my bad forum habits I learned from LHN

    Rod Reidnauer
    Class of Apr. 9-10, 2005
    Thinking outside the vinyl sided box

  7. #367
    LHBA Member mudflap's Avatar
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    Capture.jpg

    Makes me laugh every time I see it.
    --
    "cutting trees is more important than thinking about cutting trees or planning to cut trees." ~ F. David Stanley

    videos: https://www.bitchute.com/channel/mudflap/
    polished blog: https://loghomejourney.wordpress.com
    not-so-polished-but-updated-frequently blog: https://mudbox.freedombox.rocks/ikiw...fromtheMudbox/
    diaspora: https://diaspora.psyco.fr/people/613...39001e67d879df

  8. #368
    love it. gonna have to borrow that one, MudFlap!

  9. #369
    LHBA Member ivanshayka's Avatar
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    Yes me too.
    Every time I stray from teachings and suggestions of LHN it has saved me time and money.

    Don't suck face with no Banker who drives a nicer car than you do... LHN 3:21.7

  10. #370
    LHBA Member rocklock's Avatar
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    Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

    England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

    I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

    I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

    Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    I know a bloke who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any
    time.

    I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
    met herbivore.

    When chemists die, they barium.

    I'm reading an antigravity book. I just can't put it down.

    I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

    I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
    couldn't control her pupils?

    When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    Broken pencils are pointless.

    What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? thesaurus.

    I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    Velcro - what a rip off!
    Dave
    --> The unaimed arrow never misses....
    --> If can, can. If no can, no can... Hawaiian Pidgin
    2011 video http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/open...a413d0d0a&sb=1
    2006 to 2009 video http://s154.photobucket.com/albums/s274/flintlock1/
    If you are gonna be dumb, you better be TOUGH!

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