Joke thread (Don't read if you don't like funny)

[CrossingtheRubicon]

Two friends were at a restaurant hanging out having a meal together, the one friend spontaneously picked up a glass of water and threw it in the others face.

The friend drenched in water got up furious and asked why they did that?

They apologized over and over and told them how bad it made them feel. They said they get these uncontrollable urges to throw drinks in people's face. They were really embarrassed and felt horrible about it.

The friend drenched in water said I know a psychiatrist that I think can help you and gave their friend the name and number.

Several months passed and the friends met at a party. The one friend came over and asked the other how things were going with the therapist? The other friend said they were cured and felt so much better. They thanked them for the doctors name and number.

About that time a waiter was walking by with a tray of drinks and the friend scooped off two glasses and just as soon as they handed it to their friend they threw the drink in their face again.

Of course the friend was furious and asked them why they would say they are cured.

The friend said I am cured, I still throw drinks in people's faces I just don't feel bad about it anymore.

[Timber]

Ha! I remember a sign in my folks RV over the toilet that read, "Don't put anything in here that you haven't eaten first."


Also, those blue towable waste tanks that you use for RVs that allow you to haul your black water to the dump station, my dad had "Used Groceries" written across the back of it!

Actually..the true quote is...when on a fishing boat, "dont flush into ocean what you wont eat" hows that tuna taste now? Your welcome!😆🐟

[loghousenut]

1. Thoroughly clean toilet.

2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.

4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and
stand on top, so cat cannot escape.

5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds.
(Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this)

6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which
is quite effective.

7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as
possible and quickly lift both lids.

8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors,
where he will air dry.

Sincerely,

The Dog

[phlnrth]

This is one of the best things I've ever seen...

[dvb]

This is one of the best things I've ever seen...

What is???

[loghousenut]

What is???

LHBA, of course!

[panderson03]

then I agree! LHBA is one of the best things I've ever seen

[dvb]

I would agree with that! We live in our paid for house we built with our own hands and are frequently visited by the people who love our house who told us we could not do this while we were working on it.

[allen84]

TRUE STORY...

Me driving a rented box truck from Knoxville to Nashville this afternoon....

My Friend: Oh man!! Look at that bear!! (points to shoulder on opposite side of I-40)

Me: No time to answer. Thinking, "I only see a big piece of tire."

My Friend: "Oh never mind. It's just a tire."


He is notorious for being wrong about what he absolutely knows he is seeing. I'm still laughing. "Look at that bear!" is what I will greet him with from this day forward

[loghousenut]

Just before running off to boot camp, my buddy Neil and I commandeered my Mother's Pinto and headed out on a road trip up the Oregon coast. We left just after dark when I got off work and, having seen the Oregon coast, drove all night. Just driving and bonding. Somewhere up near Lincoln City, there was a dead deer laying in the roadway. We were both sober as a rock but kinda sleepy.

I saw the deer. Neil saw the deer. Neil said there was a deer in the road and I said that I saw it. When I hit the deer, it launched that Pinto pretty good. We both looked over at the other one and screeched "THERE WAS A DEER IN THE ROAD!"

No oil leaking and the tires still pointed toward Portland, so we kept at it all night.... Kids!!!?