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Thread: Joke thread (Don't read if you don't like funny)

  1. #21
    LHBA Member Timber's Avatar
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    Chuck Norris


    Chuck Norris:?? I took karate from Chucks Studio in Torrance California (I think it was his first studio he?opened)?/ style was called Tang Soo Do. I might?have seen Chuck in there a couple of times--he was very?busy opening up?Studios everywhere back then in the early 70's.?I think Chuck was undefeated in his fighting career in competition. We went to a very large?International fight?held in CA. and Chuck was fighting in it.?



    Two young ladies who?were in my class knew there black belt forms when they were white belts. They made karate history when they?became the youngest in the USA to receive a black belt. Colleen?and?Darlene Shepherd. There dad wanted these girls to be able to protect themselves!



    I must say that for Chuck not being around?he?had?some great instructors there. I am??trying to remember my daytime instructor / think he was a red belt-and I?believe that was higher than black--just cant remember if he had yet to test for black but he was a great teacher. He was short and stout--don't let those short guys fool ?you--they are strong.



    We saw some pretty gnarly?fights between the higher up belts in training--no?holding back--saw some busted noses etc--that was with?a kick.?



    Heck I don't think Chuck has anything going on?karate wise?anymore but I am not sure. There was an instructor in San Pedro, CA. that was pretty tough and beating up all competitors. There was a picture of him doing a flying kick over a guys head. His style was Tae Kwon DO.



    My opionion but? Bruce Lee was a way better actor than Chuck--Chuck just seemed to stiff. I really liked the Kung Fu series with David Carrradine?and?thought it was really good entertainment



  2. #22
    LHBA Member Shark's Avatar
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    A termite walks into a bar

    A termite walks into a bar and asks "Where is the bartender?"

    lol so corny.

  3. #23
    LHBA Member Kola's Avatar
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    ?



  4. #24
    LHBA Member shawnis's Avatar
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    I don't get it

    3 guys walk into a bar.

    Two of them REPEATEDLY tell everyone their height and weight.

    Kola :)

    --

    Sorry. I just don't get this one.

  5. #25
    LHBA Member shawnis's Avatar
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    pony

    A pony walks into a bar

    He meekly approaches the bartender, "May I have a beer?"
    The bartender says, "What did you say? I couldn't hear you."
    The pony politely asks, "May I have a beer?"
    The bartender says, "What did you say?!? I can't hear you!"
    The pony, again, does his best, "May I have a beer?"

    The bartender shouts, "You're going to have to SPEAK UP, son! I can't hear a word you're saying!"

    And the pony says, "I'm sorry, I'm just a little horse."

  6. #26
    LHBA Member rreidnauer's Avatar
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    Strings

    Two strings are walking past a bar, and one wants to get a drink. The first string goes to the bartender and asks for a beer, but the bartender tells him they don't serve strings and asks him to leave.

    The string comes out to his fellow string and tells him the bartender won't serve him. So the second string ties himself into a knot and frizzes up one end and goes into the bar. He asks the bartender for a drink, and the bartender says, "Hey, aren't you one of those strings?"

    The string replies, "No, I'm afraid not."

  7. #27
    LHBA Member spiralsands's Avatar
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    My stepfather's joke

    Why is getting up at 4 AM like a pig's tail?

    ?????????????????????????????????????

    It's twirly................


    Frances



  8. #28
    LHBA Member 2 cents's Avatar
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    HA!

    HA!
    haha. I get it.....
    I got up twirly this morning myself.

  9. #29

    My son's 3rd grade joke

    When did Bobby go to the dentist? Easy, when two thirty.

  10. #30

    Are you Sane?

    During a visit to the mental asylum I asked the Director how do he determines whether or not a person should be institutionalized.

    ?Well,? said the Director, ?we fill up a bathtub and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask that they empty the bathtub.?

    ?Oh, I understand ,? I said. ?a normal person would use the bucket because it?s bigger than the spoon or teacup.?

    ?No? said the doctor, ?a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window??

    Now I ask my fellow LHBA members to be honest and admit it - "Are you going to be needing a bed?"

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