Joke thread (Don't read if you don't like funny)

**Kola** · 02-10-2009, 01:29 PM

3 guys walk into a bar.

Two of them REPEATEDLY tell everyone their height and weight.

Kola :)

**Yuhjn** · 02-10-2009, 02:59 PM

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but he never cries.

**loghousenut** · 02-10-2009, 05:29 PM

That's so deaf people can enjoy it too...... Please accept my apology if you have no sense of smell, I meant no offense.

**Yuhjn** · 02-10-2009, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by Yuhjn

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he never cries.

This one is my all time favorite. That's a DOUBLE Chuck joke in 9 words. Amazing.

Only way it could be better is if it was a Haiku.

**Klapton** · 02-11-2009, 02:39 AM

Originally Posted by Yuhjn

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, but he never cries.

This one is my all time favorite. That's a DOUBLE Chuck joke in 9 words. Amazing.

Only way it could be better is if it was a Haiku.

Tears of Chuck Norris
Cure for any known ailment
But he never cries

**Timber** · 02-11-2009, 04:28 PM

Chuck Norris:?? I took karate from Chucks Studio in Torrance California (I think it was his first studio he?opened)?/ style was called Tang Soo Do. I might?have seen Chuck in there a couple of times--he was very?busy opening up?Studios everywhere back then in the early 70's.?I think Chuck was undefeated in his fighting career in competition. We went to a very large?International fight?held in CA. and Chuck was fighting in it.?

Two young ladies who?were in my class knew there black belt forms when they were white belts. They made karate history when they?became the youngest in the USA to receive a black belt. Colleen?and?Darlene Shepherd. There dad wanted these girls to be able to protect themselves!

I must say that for Chuck not being around?he?had?some great instructors there. I am??trying to remember my daytime instructor / think he was a red belt-and I?believe that was higher than black--just cant remember if he had yet to test for black but he was a great teacher. He was short and stout--don't let those short guys fool ?you--they are strong.

We saw some pretty gnarly?fights between the higher up belts in training--no?holding back--saw some busted noses etc--that was with?a kick.?

Heck I don't think Chuck has anything going on?karate wise?anymore but I am not sure. There was an instructor in San Pedro, CA. that was pretty tough and beating up all competitors. There was a picture of him doing a flying kick over a guys head. His style was Tae Kwon DO.

My opionion but? Bruce Lee was a way better actor than Chuck--Chuck just seemed to stiff. I really liked the Kung Fu series with David Carrradine?and?thought it was really good entertainment

**Shark** · 02-11-2009, 04:38 PM

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Where is the bartender?"

lol so corny.

**Kola** · 02-12-2009, 08:51 AM

**shawnis** · 02-12-2009, 02:26 PM

3 guys walk into a bar.

Two of them REPEATEDLY tell everyone their height and weight.

Kola :)

--

Sorry. I just don't get this one.

**shawnis** · 02-12-2009, 02:32 PM

A pony walks into a bar

He meekly approaches the bartender, "May I have a beer?"
The bartender says, "What did you say? I couldn't hear you."
The pony politely asks, "May I have a beer?"
The bartender says, "What did you say?!? I can't hear you!"
The pony, again, does his best, "May I have a beer?"

The bartender shouts, "You're going to have to SPEAK UP, son! I can't hear a word you're saying!"

And the pony says, "I'm sorry, I'm just a little horse."