Joke thread (Don't read if you don't like funny)

[BoFuller]

A Little Ranch Humor..... and our long stretches of Highways!

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on I-40

So I eased my truck and trailer over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment, I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my trailer facing on-coming traffic.

They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nudity to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody beeped their horns and waved like crazy.

It wasn't long before a Highway Patrol pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"

Well...
"My trailer has a flat tire," I said calmly.

“Ok
But What the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him......
"Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"

Always be prepared and safety first out here……seriously be careful. .


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

[donjuedo]

Ha! That's pretty funny, Bo. And it's tempting to try ...

[RingofFire]

Two young men stepped inside the hunting club lobby and asked if they could join the club. The secretary said “Sure! I’ll go get the applications.” He told the boys to go have a seat beside Old Joe who was sitting on the bench alone. He told them Old Joe was the oldest member of the club and had a lot of great stories to tell. He asked Old Joe to tell the boys about his Kodak bear hunt while he went to get the applications. The two eager young men sat down beside Old Joe and he started telling the story. Joe said he was hunting on Kodiak Island 40 years ago. He and his guide were tracking a Huge grizzly that must have been over 10’ tall judging by his tracks. It was starting to get dark and the wind was blowing so hard they couldn’t hear a thing. Suddenly they caught a glimpse of a massive shadow slipping around the base of a hill. Joe said he and the guide scrambled up the hill, crawled through devils club and tall wet grass with the wind howling. Old Joe said, “Just as we topped the hill on our hands and knees to take a look over the edge, all of a sudden “ROAR!!!” (Old Joe stands up quickly with his arms stretched out and his fingers spread out like claws.) The two young men were startled but riveted and waiting for Joe to continue. Old Joe just stood there silent and somber. Finally one of the boys asked “What happened then Joe?” Joe quietly mumbled “I shat my pants”. The boys immediately responded “We understand Joe! Don’t be ashamed. We probably would have done the same thing!” Old Joe then said, “No, I mean just now. I shat my pants.”

[mudflap]

>Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

because when you spin dough in the air, it gets round. Cardboard? not so much....

[mudflap]

for you folks in idaho:

[loghousenut]

It never involved ice, but I have had two of my cars underwater.

I know it's nothing to be proud of, but it may be a record.

Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

[donjuedo]

I gotta ask. How did it happen, and twice?

[loghousenut]

I gotta ask. How did it happen, and twice?

First time was a 66 Chevy Malibu wagon that I took too far north on Long Beach in Washington. I used to have a photo of me on the roof as the first wave washed over it. We camped on the beach drinking peach Brandy. The car is still there.

The other was a 62 Corvair camper van. I camped in a deserted trailer park 5 miles upstream from the mouth of the Klamath River in northern California. I chose that spot because there was a good flood going on and I wanted to see it the next day.

3 am found me pulling on my pants with ankle deep water in the van. By the time I got my boots on, I was armpit deep. I got a hammock like bed strung up in a nearby bunch of Alder trees and spent the night keeping my head and feet above water. It was December of 81.

All night there was 8" of the van above water and my dog was inside. By 11:30 am the water had receded 3" and I was rescued by a couple of Yurok men in a sled boat, looking for Port Orford Cedar logs.

They rescued me and what gear I could find, and a very grateful dog. I had supposed she was dead. I rented a house from one of my saviors and 6 days later we winched the van out and towed it to my new home.

I spent 3 months completely dismantling and restoring the van and I sold it 40,000 miles later. That darned dog went through several such calamities and eventually died just before our Son was born. She was 16.

Both experiences were totally great experiences to survive. I would not be whoevernell I am without experiences like these.



Yes, I know they were both preventable... Me Mother told me that many years ago.



Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

[loghousenut]

I appologize to those of you who have heard this story before. I am easily confused and thought I was over on the Yamaha TW200 forum where I dabble.

I suggest that you stop reading anything I post, as you have most likely read it before.

But, then again, if you are old and feeble minded like myself, it all looks fresh and new every time you see it.... Read on.

Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

[donjuedo]

Good story.

Read on? Works for me!

[mudflap]

[mudflap]

Spring is coming:



y'all stay safe out there...

[rreidnauer]

I can't deny that that is pretty impressive ingenuity.

Sent from my SM-G955U1 using Tapatalk

[mudflap]

I can't deny that that is pretty impressive ingenuity.

Sent from my SM-G955U1 using Tapatalk

I mean, if you're bushhogging, it ain't gonna give you pretty results, but if you're just sowing rice fields, then A+.

[LarryNut]

I can't deny that that is pretty impressive ingenuity.
Sent from my SM-G955U1 using Tapatalk

Exactly what I was thinking. That even looks like mudflap’s tractor.

[misplayed-hand]

Looks like even the deer in Alabama have issues. https://currently.att.yahoo.com/news...203547993.html

[mudflap]

Looks like even the deer in Alabama have issues. https://currently.att.yahoo.com/news...203547993.html

weird.
I bet the meat still tastes good, though.

[allen84]

weird.
I bet the meat still tastes good, though.

Might make you grow antlers.

[misplayed-hand]

weird.
I bet the meat still tastes good, though.

Might taste good but deer balls are no longer the cheapest cut of meat: two fer under a buck. (old joke)

[donjuedo]

weird.
I bet the meat still tastes good, though.

Yeah. Hmmm. When you chew, is it kinda doe-y?

[mudflap]

[allen84]

The orange and blue box stores still have decent deals around here. We have some great small sawmills and small Amish communities around here too.

[misplayed-hand]

[loghousenut]

Daylight saving time is metric.

Sent from my Pixel 3a XL using Tapatalk

[jgrajiola]

I’m not a fan of this sorcery!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mudflap]

[Shark]

Lol!
That is the exact amount I just paid for a pressure treated 2x10 last week.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[loghousenut]

Around here, the tweakers are tearing apart houses. They are taking the wall studs and leaving the copper wiring.