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Thread: Dominant Organ...

  1. #1
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    Dominant Organ...

    Due to overactivity on the member's side, I have opted to post this on the public side of this LHBA forum. Relevance to the general topic of log home building will be evident to anyone who has built a log home.

    Over the years I have studied this topic extensively and uncovered a few things about my own body and why it treats me like it does. In the end, we are just a bag of guts and all of those guts are organs. Who woulda thought that there would be a lifelong battle for control among all those bloody organs ?!!! Once you understand how it all works, you'll never think the same way about your hemorrhoids and you'll understand what all that itching is about.

    Personally, my life has been a lifelong battleground with successive organ leaders helping me to run my daily doings in a sometimes curious fashion. Even now, I have a hard time controlling many of my toughest organs.

    I started out as an adorable little bundle of lard and pink skin. My Brother Bo, who is many years my senior, says that I was perhaps the handsomest child ever conceived in our part of the Country. I suspect that, as a baby, I had no real dominant organ for the first few years. Yes, they say that I was obviously all male but, until a person is able to use those attributes in the real world, that organ doesn't really matter much. I mean, how much directional control over pee is really necessary when a guy wears a diaper all day? I do know that I was all eyes and ears and my brain was like a sponge. I certainly remember witnessing things that the old folks thought I was missing and I am quite sure that the brain, eyes, and ears kinda dominated together by default til I was two or three.

    At some time in my development, my mouth organ simply seized control with an iron fist. Still a strong player, all these years later, I'd say that until about puberty, there was no question about who was boss of my body. My poor Mother did her best to control it in her own way. That worked fine til I developed a strange compulsion for the taste of soap. I now know that my mouth had worked a deal with my stomach and taste buds to prolong it's whole body control. I suppose there is an organ retirement program that has better benefits after tenure and my mouth would do most anything for more time in service.

    All good things must come to an end and suddenly, as the hormones of spring started their gush, my mouth kept fighting for control but my eyes definitely took first chair. I couldn't keep my eyes off the skirts and would cry like John Boehner at every stray comment from a passerby.

    I didn't last. Once that other pubetic organ found a way to keep me interested, I forgot all about crying and didn't seem to care how the gals looked anymore. There is plenty of evidence proving that leading with the crotch is a downhill spiraling addiction leading to failure on many fronts. This portion of my life is better left to the Tabloids and I'll not bore the audience with that sort of sensationally gripping titillation.

    Fortunately for me, that gonadal organ didn't ride his position of power into the dirt like an aging Senator, but rather decided to go out on top and assisted me in my most notable accidental discovery to date... the Love organ. A smooth transition of power allowed Mr. Teste to accept a gracefully active retirement as the Heart took over. I suppose it is a lot like when John McCain used to cross the aisle of the Senate so he could give away most everything just to be able to stay active and in the limelight. I'll admit that it seemed for awhile like they would share power equally but sometime around our Son Jake's birthday, it was clear that the Heart had won out as supreme organ, allowing the other organs plenty of latitude for frolic and self development. It appears that my Heart will continue to play a large part in my existence, allowing me to overlook the many flaws of my spouse and forcing me to live life like Ma Nature intended it. I suspect that Her heart and my own are in some kind of communication with each other for their own mutual benefit. Works fine for me.

    Lets revert to a time just after my Heart took over and that other organ was slipping into the background. Lack of exercise and good home cooking left a tiny chink in my armor, allowing another organ to rear it's ugly head in a bid for whole body domination. My digestive organs, most notably my stomach, made an all out assault, changing life as we know it for some 18 years. It had me waking three time per night to put claw marks in the ice cream and no rib steak was ever consumed without another to follow. I probably consumed more calories from mayonnaise in those years than total caloric intake in the previous 40 years. Didn't seem like a problem til around 340 lbs (61 litres). At some point Jake married the right Gal and all of a sudden there was four of our Hearts all talking together and that dishwasher sized stomach of mine was simply not up to the battle for domination. Funny how the organs work together with the environment. Those for hearts linked me up with a surgeon at OHSU (look it up, Bo) and they cut my stomach out and put it somewhere safe. It's called Bariatric Surgery and I had mine in January of 2017. Gastric Sleeve was my weapon of choice and it allowed me to get to a more normal weight of 225 lbs (40 litres) and has eliminated hunger from my life. I now eat like a 12 year old girl and the reign of the killer stomach is barely a memory. Funny thing... when I see videos of me from 4 years ago I don't instantly recognize me.

    Anyway, that's a demonstration of how an organ can seize power and dominate with an iron fist. I concede that the organ that was in control for most of my 20's and 30's may have been similarly destructive. I am certainly happy that a surgical response was not required in that instance. As for a stomach... small price to pay for return of the Heart as supreme commander.

    There does seem to be murmurings of a hostile organ takeover in the works. Active all my life and now approaching 65 years old, my largest single organ seems to be making some noise lately. All those years of outdoor nudity and lovely tan skin seems to be paying me back. No problem biopsies yet, but a number of plugs taken out just for fun. Years of charging barearmed and barelegged through the underbrush and numerous saw cuts, added to all those welding burns and blacksmithing burns has left me with Old Man Skin. No need to look it up, Bo. You got it too.

    Yeah, if I walk past a potted plant and get within 4 inches (1.7k) of it, my skin suddenly has a big ole black eye the size of a Reno silver dollar. If I were to actually touch the same plant with my unprotected arm, it would have snagged out a triangle of bloody pulp that takes a month to heal. Yes, I am still active and I still blacksmith hinges for the house and still am able to do all the things needed to make the right kinduva log home... but it is embarrassing sometimes. Had a neighbor lady and her husband over to galk at the place a week ago. She dropped her cellphone so I picked it up for her. There was blood all over it. Nobody knew til then that I had snagged my arm, and all that biohazard was running down all over the palm of my hand. We followed the drip trail back to the bedroom where I had hit that stupid knot on the bedroom window sill that Patty just loves.

    So that is my life history of organ dominance. It ain't over yet. They say that my thyroid will battle for control but I take a pill for it. Prostrate is really strong and historically my family usually doesn't let that one take over. I feel my brain trying to seize the day occasionally. Unfortunately I can't remember what day that was. I suspect that I will eventually need help finding the bathroom or I will one day just wake up and wonder who is driving the car and it'll go downhill from there. For now, I am able to keep my LHN estate going and have a solid stream of projects coming and going.

    Feel free to respond with your own tales of organ dominance but don't try to refute any of my findings without looking it up on the internet. This is all pretty much proven science.



    PS.... It really is much better over on the member's side of this forum.
    Last edited by loghousenut; 10-13-2018 at 10:16 AM.
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

  2. #2
    LHBA Member rckclmbr428's Avatar
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    Tldr............
    www.WileyLogHomes.com
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  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by rckclmbr428 View Post
    Tldr............
    its a good read, though

  4. #4
    LHBA Member rreidnauer's Avatar
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    I did. My attention span still remains greater than a goldfish's, so I guess the brain organ still holds a decent place in the race.
    All my bad forum habits I learned from LHN

    Rod Reidnauer
    Class of Apr. 9-10, 2005
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  5. #5
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rreidnauer View Post
    I did. My attention span still remains greater than a goldfish's, so I guess the brain organ still holds a decent place in the race.
    What exactly are you trying to say about Ronnie Rcklmbr, Rod?
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by loghousenut View Post
    Feel free to respond with your own tales of organ dominance .
    At various times in my life I have encountered females who maintain that males "think with their little head". Is that an example of organ dominance LHN?
    “None of us is as smart as all of us.” ― Kenneth H. Blanchard

  7. #7
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    How little?
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

  8. #8
    LHBA Member John17three's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loghousenut View Post
    How little?
    That's below the belt.
    Build Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/EAJWU
    More Build Pictures: https://imgur.com/a/ca7qYAd

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  9. #9
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    The answer to my question would be how far below the belt.

    Sent from my LGL83BL using Tapatalk
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

  10. #10
    LHBA Member loghousenut's Avatar
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    Moderator... Please move this over to the LOCKER ROOM HUMOR thread on the member's side of the forum. I think a person ought to pay the price of admission for humor like this.

    Sent from my LGL83BL using Tapatalk
    Every time I have strayed from the teachings of Skip Ellsworth it has cost me money.

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